Bullet Points @ timlongo.com

There are moments in a pop culture geek dad’s life which could be called milestones for his kid. This is a story about one of those.

It is hard to decide when and how to introduce your child to something that seems very important and life-defining for you but that when you really think about it is kind of weak as a legacy to pass on. I mean, at the end of the day, does anyone really care about things like science fiction epics like Star Wars? Does it really have any bearing on a child’s future? Well it did on mine and damn it, I was going to see if it did on my daughter’s. So, seeing that she is 5 (or was when this story occurred, she just turned 6 a couple weeks ago) and seeing that I wanted to start her out on a non-Wii game where she had to try out dual-sticks, I decided rather than watch the movie that we would start with Lego Star Wars. Low on the literal violence, pretty easy in general, etc. Plus I couldn’t remember how adult the first Star Wars film (Episode 4 for the kids out there) was, so this seemed like a safe place to start. However, there was a catch with that; the game forces you to start with Episode 1 before you unlock the rest of the game, this being The Complete Saga game. So, despite my wishes we had to start with that part of the game before we could start with Ep. 4. I had no choice. We quickly finished the first level and sort of kept playing the second level because she was having so much fun before I recalled the danger inherent in that. Here is how it went down.

• Lia: “Oh, who is this funny guy with the big ears?”
• Me: “Oh, no one.” (shit!)
• Lia: “He sounds funny.”
• Me: “Yeah, he is kind of goofy, isn’t he?”
• Lia: “I like him, look, he can jump really high too!”
• Me: “Uh…maybe we should play another level.”
• Lia: “What is his name Dada?”
• Me: “Well…uh…his name is Jar Jar.”
• Lia: “Jar Jar! Look, he jumps really high!”
• Me: “Ok, let’s play a new level.” (presses start)

My savior came in the form of a lovable trash can. The simplest design for a robot ever. One that has more character than any damn floppy-eared, duck-mouthed buffoon of a alien with insulting racial connotations. The one Wall-E owes everything to. I thought I had already ruined the whole thing, but then…

• Lia: “Did you hear him make that funny sound when he fell off the ledge! He is so cute!”
• Me: “His name is R2-D2. He is a robot. (well droid really)”
• Lia: “Ooo look, he can fly. And he can shock people. I got ya Dada!”

Thank the Force for R2-D2.

Then it was time. I was 5 in 1977. Lia is 5 now so it was the time for her first viewing. I had memories of some allusions to torture, a bit of charred skeletons (which you can’t really see too well), a guy in a black suit choking another guy to death, and Snaggletooth’s arm being cut off in a bar. So what the hell, let’s give it a try. Because of the game, she already knew the opening musical score and begun to hum it as soon as it came on. I cracked my first smile. Honestly, it is hard to say how she felt about the entire movie. She still seemed to love R2 and was mainly concerned about his well being. Obviously she has no idea of the power of Han Solo or Luke, really, but Leia is pretty high on the list and Chewie is always good for a 5 year old chuckle. Though I look back when I first saw it and think that I probably didn’t get what the hell was really going on either. There was an interesting conversation about Jawas. Another one about how an entire planet could be destroyed by the Death Star (which the Death Star, in some weird twist, has now somehow become the punch line for knock-knock jokes). I was happy that I was able to pass on the tragedy of how Chewie was left out of the final ceremony and didn’t get a medal like Han and Luke. Something the fans are still pissed about. Now she can carry on that injustice after I’m gone. In the end, I just wanted to know what she was thinking. I know you can’t force something like this and we’ll never know where her inspirations will come from, but it is worth a try, right? Truth is, we won’t know for many years and I need to just calm down about it all.

Yet another proud fatherly moment is the first time your child learns to down an AT-AT. I’m not kidding. Is this the modern day version of the first “hunt” as a rite of passage? I think it really is for a sorry-ass geeks like me. I didn’t think she would be able to do it either. Once again, the game was Lego Star Wars. The typical gameplay involves firing the tow cable and then making 3 to 5 tight circles around the legs of the giant mechanized beast transport full of snow troopers. This is usually hard for most adults, but she did it! I was so proud. Then, once the AT-AT was down I finished it off with a nice bomb from my snow speeder. Some good old Father/Daughter teamwork. Now it is one of her favorite things to do in the game and she asks to play the Battle of Hoth over and over again when given a choice. She loves that the AT-STs are nicknamed “chicken walkers” and calls out, “Let’s down some chicken walkers, Dada!” (sniff)

The culmination of all of this was the first Star Wars toy purchase for her birthday: A Lego Star Wars X-Wing Fighter set. Complete with her favorite…R2-D2. We spent each day of the Thanksgiving holiday putting the damn thing together bit by bit and once it was finally done I somehow felt that my mission was complete. A modern day introduction to one of the defining mythologies of my own childhood (and adult) life passed on to my own 5 year old, and she actually enjoyed it, despite little mermaids, fairies, and princesses. At least the melodic digital beeps and boops and “screams” of a tin can on wheels can still hold his own against a muscial score by Alan Menken.

Special Thanks: To my good friend Geoff Jones who gave me a DVD copy of the original cut from laser disk of the first three movies before “old man” George came around. In all its grainy and low quality glory. I know that the original cuts have come out on DVD since then, but I’m happy to not have a remastered version for her. So we can get as close as possible to the real deal from 1977. The special editions will just not do. Can’t wait for Empire in three years.